3. [Discussion] Share Your Victories

[Discussion] Share Your Victories

Nearly three years ago I had a haemorrhagic tumour removed from brainstem. It hast been residing there for a little over a decade. The year after that was hell. I say there, utterly helpless, as my entire world fell apart before me. People walked out on me. Those who said they were there, weren't. I couldn't walk properly for months. I lost movement in the left side of my face, and perhaps the most psychologically destroying, my left eye turned inward and I spent two years living with strabismus and double vision.

Four weeks ago, I found out that my tumour was back. It was one of the most horrific and terrifying moments of my life, as I woke from sleep with the same symptoms that I had the first time I was diagnosed. Now, with very little left in my life, it is a time for reflection, and I have come to realise that I have never lost anything - everything in my life has been what this thread is about... victories.

I am so grateful for the people I have met all the way. The two doctors who looked after me when I was first diagnosed set me on a path that enabled me to devote my entire being to help other people. Without those two shining lights, I wouldn't be half the person I am today.

I have learnt that out of true hardship comes empathy and courage and learning to deal with fear, and that it is okay to have your moments of weakness. Those moments of weakness are more important than any victory you will ever win. They define you. They tell you that there is something in your life that you want to live for. And I am thankful that my many moments of weakness have given me the strength and courage and determination to take another step and to live another day.

I have learnt to appreciate what I have, and to live in the present. There is no yesterday, there is no tomorrow. If I am not happy at this moment, what else is there? If I cannot laugh with the family and friends that I so dearly love, then what have I achieved? To be happy and content living in the moment is the greatest gift. A gift that no one, an no thing, will ever be able to take away from me.

I have learnt that no matter what happens from now is what it is. I have no control over it, and I must roll with the punches. I've lived a thousand lives in my 24 years, and there is truly nothing that I regret doing. I have left no stone unturned, no corner in my life has not been illuminated. I am content, and that is all there is.

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