My husband had to make a similar choice,. His son was 8, almost 9 when we found out he was molesting my daughter, 8. It was not mutual exploration, he had actually gotten details from his therapist on how "bad people" make kids feel like they have to go along with them and he used every single tactic.

While he hadn't killed a dog, he had endangered people countless time and done other things that can't be chalked up to normal kid stuff.

We had it so much easier than you did. We could have split up, I would have understood. Ultimately, he just couldn't maintain the relationship. There really are some things that you can't come back from. He's also just had a heart transplant, was physically very weak, and is dependent on medications to live. Step son had in the past targeted things people needed or cared about for revenge or to create chaos to cover for whatever he wanted to do at the moment.

My In laws still see him and it terrifies me. He's very good for them except when he isn't. MIL thinks that they can watch him at their home and lets him play with the young kids across the street. She just doesn't understand, when you let kids play together you send the message that the other child is safe. I'm terrified for them. He snuck into our daughter's room at night because they weren't allowed together alone. She told me his mother had to nail his window shut to keep him in (he told her he's want allowed to pee during time out and was just peeing out the window.) I'm certain he was sneaking out.