You're probably preaching to the choir here. It's hard living like this. Missing out on so much. No social life. No love. No intimacy. No confidence. No human connection (which is torture for a brain that is biologically hardwired to make us social animals). Look at the heirarchy of basic human needs, we're missing things which are basic requirements and at the core of what it means to be human (sex, security, friendship, intimacy). There isn't even sympathy for us in the world at large, so we come to this online corner to find some sympathy. I know exactly what you mean. And if someone tells me to "buck up" or "enjoy the good bits", I want to tell them to fuck off, they should try living like this and see how long they'd make it.

But that being said, we only get one life. There's no alternative. This is the life we have to live. There's no reset button. There are no do over's. There's no guardian angel coming to fix things. We have to accept this and fix it ourselves. Life dealt us a shit hand but we can do little besides work with it. So that's how I'm trying to go on. Some things just aren't going to happen for me, it's a write off, work around it. I can't be completely happy, but I can get pleasure to tide me over. A nice meal, a good song, a pleasant walk.... little victories that get me to the next day, everyday. I can't have all the things I thought I needed to make me happy with life, but I can try to keep from being miserable.... And clutch onto that faint hope that things will get better one day.