I feel exactly the same. I've never met anyone on the same level as me when it comes to germs so it's really nice to talk to someone who completely understands. I appreciate you sharing with me and it makes me feel comfortable sharing with you.
Fear and checking is certainly part of my OCD but it's largely germ related. My psychologist tells me she has a hard time helping me because most people with OCD have one or two things they obsess about but I obsess about pretty much everything. Contamination first and foremost but also rumination, fear and checking, perfectionism, religious and violent intrusive thoughts and mental contamination.
I do lose a lot of sleep. I barely sleep, usually only when I'm so exhausted that I fall asleep straight away. That's why I try and keep myself as busy as possible.
Relationships are really hard. My current relationship is the first proper relationship I've had. He's not my first sexual partner but I was sexually active when I was having a bit of a lull in my OCD. When it became really severe again, I stopped having sex. The severity of my OCD tends to be dependent on what's going on in my life. I used to have a pretty good grip on my OCD. It was severe, but I was in control. After I was raped for a second time, I kind of 'broke' and everything spiraled out of control. I attempted suicide around my 21st birthday which is when my OCD was at it's peak. I was having 20-22 hour showers, brushing my teeth with bleach, bleaching food before I ate it, self harming by slitting my feet, washing my eyes out with soap etc.
The last year and a half has been hectic for me. It's when I was finally put on a medication that worked and really helped me (up until two months ago). I've only been able to touch people again in that time so meeting my boyfriend around the same time my medication started working was perfect timing.
It's annoying that the meds only help with specific things. I can hug my mum again for the first time in 4 years but I still can't look at shoes without having to wash my hands. I can hold down a job but I can't listen to a dog bark without feeling dirty. I'm sure you can relate to that imbalance. Like you, I was constantly washing my hands. Now, I've come to rely on avoidance techniques a lot more so now I'm going through 500ml-1L of sanitiser a days instead.
I'm sorry, I've only talked about myself. You're very easy to talk to and you've made me feel so comfortable and now I've gotten carried away. Please share whatever you feel like sharing with me. Did you manage to get your shower times down by yourself or did the medication help with that? You're honestly amazing for having halved it. Can I ask how long you've been with your husband? I've been with my boyfriend for about a year and a half and I constantly worry that one day he'll tell me he's sick of my shit and leave even thought I know he won't. You've been going through this longer than I have so I will appreciate any advice.