Alright I think I see now. It sounds like it is an OCD issue because it's part of thinking and feeling much more guilt, invalidation, etc. than you otherwise should or would?

We shouldn't try to give you reassurance about what happened. But, in terms of listening to your experience, it does sound like she could have declined more respectfully and with more understanding. I do think that was very harsh language to someone in need & suffering as you were. I think you would have respected her boundaries if she had communicated them to you better & more amicably?

The main message is that once it is an OCD issue, reasonable interpretations (about what happened, how much blame, guilt, invalidation, etc. you feel) are no longer so helpful. It becomes a pattern for responding to internal stress and for reassurance.