I know the feeling and it sucks to see them moving on with their lives while we're still reeling from the discovery and aftermath. They have all the fun while we pay all the consequences. For her to feed you that line of bs about needing comfort just shows what kind of person she is. That is a completely self absorbed comment to make... especially to the person you hurt.

I read a good article on chumplady about forcing your mind to move on when your heart is still attached and I think it applies here. She said that if we believe that our spouses had control over their feelings and could have prevented the affair from starting, then we have to believe that we also have control and can redirect our feelings about that person who hurt us.

Essentially, this is a woman who committed to you and tore you to pieces so she could have a little fun. Don't be surprised that she isn't keeping your agreements now, when it appears that the relationship is over. Stop expecting things of her that she's either incapable of or unwilling to do. Rewrite who she is in your mind with the truth of her actions, not your memories of better times.

This sucks for us. We pay the price for their actions. It's time we stop making it harder on ourselves by expecting better from them.