What's your current status with your wife, did you talk about the divorce? If yes, start the paperwork for the legalities. If not, tell her. It's cheapest when you both agree with the separation/divorce.

And about the SB situation, try to keep it down until the divorce agreement is signed.

She's very indifferent about a divorce if I could describe her attitude it's that she sees me more as her own possession. That's why she sticks it out I think in her mind I "belong" to her and I guess she feels she can do whatever she wants. So I imagine once I try she's going to throw every trick she's got. That's why I'm trying to play the long game.