I find that I’m the opposite of your wife. I can be too emotionally available. Sometimes to the point where it appears as neediness. Will put everyone else’s needs above my own no matter how bad my mental health is or at what cost to me. Will run myself dry before acknowledging my own needs.

That said, there has been rare moments where I’ve gotten so lost in myself and what has been happening inside my head that I’ve been selfish and failed to recognise others were hurting or had needs too.

Everyone struggles and reacts differently, but communication is what’s key. If she’s unable to make herself available to you emotionally she needs to communicate that in a mature way and vice versa, if you’re feeling as though your needs aren’t being acknowledged you should feel comfortable voicing that too. The lack of willingness from from her to do so is a worry.

Wishing you and your wife the best.