I can't take any steps. I'm in a red state, so I get enough hate as it is for acting queer. I've been working the same job for nine years so I can't just roll up to HR like, "Am woman now everybody please forget or reevaluate the last decade." I'm married, and I can't even imagine how that particular conversation would go. And most importantly, I have a mental illness, so I'm not likely to be approved for any sort of transgender care.

So, by your definition, I'm not transgender. All this lifelong discomfort, the daily bouts of dysphoria, the nightly crying sessions, the tearful mornings after I've dreamed of being my real self and then woken up to this, it's just not enough for you to believe, hmm?