For me it usually sucks. Like that scene in fight club where the dudes imaginary friend is telling him god doesn't like him. Like today I went outside for the first time in days and see some dirty teenager with greasy hair making eye contact with me, which was a reference to me not having done laundry in a long time and being grimy. But I've been sick (with covid no less), and been working. I think the stimuli I receive is the judgements of other people. I also think it's delusional. It at least doesn't make any sense. It seems more plausible from our human intelligence that we're insignificant meat with short life spans and nothing matters and yet I can't believe this symbolism anyway.

I'm not as crazy as a I sound. I function fine. The world just generally dislikes my personality and I think the reasons why are stupid so have no motivation to change.