This is a good post. I definitely understand how you feel and I feel a similar way myself.

What I find interesting is that it's a similar pattern to what's happened in feminism before. I've been reading Jeffreys' Anticlimax and The Spinster and her Enemies lately and she describes in these books how the feminism of her day ignored the work of their foremothers. Specifically, how 2nd wave feminism have to rediscover the problem of male violence and male oppression from 1st wave feminism. She makes a convincing argument that "sexual liberation" and Queer theory have confused the feminists of my generation (the millennials) about the source of their oppression in a similar manner to how her generation forgot as well.

I think we see this today. The natal women of my generation struggle against their oppression, but lack a proper feminist framework to analyze it. They grew up in an area of identity politics and try to apply the only political theory they known to their oppression. The result is often a confused and politically organizable mess.

Two examples of this are the growing asexuality and "gender queer" movement. While males are also in these movements, I am going to focus on how women in these movements use them to explain and escape their oppression.

I identify as asexual myself, so I have experience with the asexual community. Our culture is so pornsick that women who wish not to submit themselves to traditional heterosexuality (which is all about oppressing women) try and identify their way out of it. After all, it is much easier to resist male sexual oppression when you can claim its against your sexual orientation. Society has become more open about "alternative" lifestyles, but not open to women claiming agency over their sexuality. The result is younger women escaping heterosexuality through asexuality. Society will tell someone who choose no to sex that she is frigid and sick, but if she can claim it's her innate identity, some segments of society will accept it more (although not all and especially not aggressive males).

Likewise, an increasing number of women identify as gender queer or agender. They do this because the female sex role is essentially ritualized submission. These young women want to be thought of as people and not objects, so they attempt to assert their personhood by denying the traditional social label of objectification. Unfortunately, males don't care if a woman thinks of herself as a person or not. She may attempt to assert her personhood by relabeling herself as a not-an-object, but males will objectify her nonetheless.

My generation is young and our birthrate is low. Since so much of women's oppression (although not all) happens during childbirth/rearing, I don't think my generation has yet realized the source of their oppression. A childfree/less young woman has an easier time seeing explaining her oppression through identity politics than a mother does. Just as Jeffreys and Dworkin rediscovered male oppression in their eras, I think my generation will eventually realize the same thing when their current techniques prove to be useless. Jeffreys even writes about the current, budding radical feminist movement in her book, Gender Hurts. Despite the 3rd wave's shortcomings, young women today do realize we are oppressed and that consciousness, though currently misdirected, cannot be put back in the bottle. I think we will see a raise in effective feminism as young women realize how and by whom they are oppressed.