For homecoming week my school had character day and me and my bf went as Spider-Man and Gwen

Well im in a weird headspace right now and just let out a lot of stuff... May or may not be helpful sorry if wasting your time

I’d say no, you just have to tackle life from the right angle which in fairness I routinely fail to do. I also have some weird habits and world views which make it hard for me to give advice sometimes.

My problems stem from self loathing which manifested itself because of issues and bad habits I had, and regret for some of my actions as a teen.

I was pretty happy in my teenage years actually, but I was also kind of off in my own little world. Everyone rebels in some way, I rebelled by not rebelling if that makes sense. Never liked or went to parties, never drank or smoked, and never wanted a relationship/sex (watched a lot of porn though, which made for a super damaging combo)

There is nothing wrong with this of course, I was genuinely content not doing those things and still don’t (minus the relationship part) however I really wish I had done more to substitute those formative experiences with something that fit me, instead of doing fuck all instead, if that makes sense. It actually bums me out that “introvert teen decides to go wild and do all the things they wanted to do but never did!” Is such a common plot thread in comedy movies because I don’t think it’s accurate to those kinds of people (like me) I didn’t do stuff because I didn’t want to do stuff, not because I thought I shouldn’t or was being held back.

Then after high school I went to community college for four years and lived at home, so I missed out on all those formative experiences too. And now I finally transferred... to a school that had originally accepted me out of high school in the first place... So now I just feel totally out of step with all of my peers and just so far behind... dating especially has been a self inflicted nightmare for me for reasons I don’t really wanna go into lol but yeah I just feel like i made zero life progress in four years

This would be okay if I were able to embrace this fact and be happy with being me like I was in high school, but because of the now extreme aforementioned self loathing, being content with being different from others is not possible when I now view those others as being better than me

This has turned into a lot of rambling, idk man it’s like 4am and I’m sad haha

the hardest part of leaving high school for me is the absence of familiarity I had with my classmates. This surprised the hell out of me, because even though I didn’t hate it I never thought I would miss high school. But man... growing up seeing the same 500 faces in the halls every day (even if I was an introvert and didn’t know most of them personally) to suddenly recognizing nobody, in a much larger and less intimate environment at that... really made me feel isolated and kind of sad. For that reason I’ve actually ended up hanging out with people from high school quite a bit, a lot of people I never hung out with while in high school.

If you want some advice here is what I’ve got. Might not be applicable, this is just from my own personal experience.

1: try to have memorable formative experiences. You don’t have to do what other people do if you don’t want to, be yourself, but you still have to nurture yourself. So for example if you decide not to go to your prom because you feel really uncomfortable in that kind of setting like I did, that’s totally fine. But go do something really special in its place, go to an amusement park or something idk don’t just sit at home

2: make a fucking journal and write every fun/happy/memorable event in it. At least one thing every week. Because as life has been hitting me hard, my memories of the happier times have been fading... I fear one day I’ll just assume this is the way it’s always been and always will be. Don’t let that happen (I should follow this advice now but I don’t)

3: have a big picture goal, and make a clear path to it. I feel lost, and regretful for wasting so much time

4: what were we talking about? Oh yes relationships. Just try man, if love is something you want, you gotta try.

5: general cliche health stuff. Drink water, eat well, work out, keep very very good hygiene, stop watching porn, get off the internet in general.

Idk man, it’s hard for me to give advice or to tell people what to expect because I feel like I always had such a different mindset from other people

In retrospect I think my biggest downfall was how much I enjoyed being a kid. I loved being a kid and childhood. To me it was the greatest thing in the world, and I had no illusions that growing up would be better. I recall in kindergarten being asked about what I wanted to be to grow up, and responding with I don’t want to. For that reason once puberty hit I was never interested in what my peers were interested in because everyone just wanted to grow up. Subconsciously I just did not take to what most people do, like my mindset was working against me. “Why would you wanna drink? That’s for grownups. Why would you want to curse or try drugs or party or learn to drive or have a relationship? All those things are for grownups. You don’t wanna do that” so idk I fought it. I fought growing up tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, but you can’t not grow up. Time always wins. So now Here I am, an adult, completely lacking the formative experiences that my peers had, and I’m miserable because I always told myself being an adult sucks. self fulfilling prophecy. My extreme desire to hang on to childhood and be happy is what’s caused the issues that have made me unhappy.

But idk man it’s sooo hard to be happy and look forward to life when all I really ever wanted to do was just mess around in the woods with my friends playing with sticks without a care in the world. And I had that, and it was so good, but now those times are behind me... And I will never ever be able to do that again. I peaked when I was 8

Most people are not like this though, so my warnings and life experience are kind of pointless for anybody not like me.

I’m sorry I’m having a bit of a breakdown rn, if you read this sorry I wasted your time

/r/teenagers Thread Parent Link -