one day doomguy was on UAC mars base and his balls hurt so he say "i need succ" and went to go rent a robot hooker machine from the cafeteria vending. machine. but he was quick to realize that the power was out and the people who were in there eating were now zombie and eating eachother.
"my money that i use to buy sex hooker has no value in zombie society" said doomguy with accent of anger and determination as he threw the coins at a zombie colleague. this made the zombie angry and it charged at doomguy so he grabbed his shotgun and shot it with his shotgun. "i cannot get succ from zombie because they bite my penis" said doomguy with defeated tone in his voice. he shooted the other zombie in the mess hall and set out to find succ.
doomguy when he exited the zombie room say "d*mn it to hell there's more zombie" and then the marine base was damned to hell. doomguy saw lots of demon and he knew did not have enough bullets for all of them. "i must act fast or die without getting my nut" he said with vigor. doomguy ran in a beeline while dodging cyberdemon rockets and fireballs and those very scary skulls on fire. he did not know what to do at first but he felt that he was getting closer to his goal. suddenly a cacodemon appeared in the distance. "i am going to fuck that" said doomguy as he ran faster toward it. it tried to spit lightning at him but he jumped over it and on top of it and rode it like a flying horse and guided it out of hell back to the marine base.
it was screaming and begging for mercy from doomguy but he had gone so far and he was going to get succ. he knocked it upside the head with his shotgun and dragged it to the medical bay and got a scalpel and removed its teeth and the gland that produced plasma. "i am sorry little one but i cannot masturbate anymore because of my calloused hands that i use to kill demon with" he said with genuine pity and arousal. after a few hours the cacodemon woke up and did not know what was going on but was scared. doomguy was not in the room because he had to take a poop. cacodemon try to escape but doomguy came back.
"do not be scared friend i will only get succ from you if consensual" said doomguy with honesty. he give cacodemon a menu and ask it out to date at the cafeteria. cacodemon didn't really know what to say because it was a cacodemon but it did not want to fight anymore so it just rocked back and forth trying to do a nod but it was a little hard because the entirety of its body was just a head. they went to restaurant and ordered spaghetti from the zombie waiter. they ated the spaghetti and it was good spaghetti because the marine base had transferred a 5-star chef to their outpost. the chef was a zombie now but she was still a good chef. over the course of the meal the cacodemon had begun swooning over doomguy. nobody had ever loved it enough to give it italian food before because it was a demon and lived in hell. it began to cry and doomguy wipe its tears off and say "shh bby is ok" and then hugged it.