It had been three years long grueling years since I had kicked the habit. Doctors said the next drop of liquor would shut down my liver. So for three years I was clean, not a drop ofever hit my system. It was hard I had to break contact with all my friends, I couldn't risk being near them. All the good times all the memories had to be repressed I could never go back for it would be certain death. The last year was the easiest I had relied on my family for support and a beautiful girl name Sara I met at Alcoholics anonymous. We would always help each other I had become her sponsor always there to make sure she wouldnt fall back into old habits. She had become my sun, my reason for living needless to say we fell in love quickly. We where planning to move in together in January but she was gone now, she had a moment of weakness at a christmas party and fell into temptation. They said she didn't feel a thing the impact of the crash would have killed her instantly. We had had a argument that morning, her job was hosting the party at a bar I didn't want her to go she had been sober for a while but she always struggled. The thing I regret most about that day was not answering the phone, I was angry she had gone and didn't want to talk about it. The voice mail she left was haunting, she knew she about to give in to temptation she called me because she needed her sponsor to reassure her. I should have answered but I didn't bother hearing the message until it was too late. For days I blamed her, I blamed my self I tortured my self at night over it. I couldn't sleep because of the dreams, every night it would be the same her beautiful face, her having a drink and then her lifeless body in the morgue. I didn't want to remember I wanted to forget. I was driving home when I passed by her crash sight, it was overwhelming I needed to forget. I headed to nicks, Nick was an old friend he would always give me discounts. I don't know why I went maybe I wanted nick to stop me I could have gone to any liquor store but I chose his. I went In and he wasn't there so I grabbed any bottle and headed to the cashier. They were nice enough, when they rang me up at full price I remember nick again. I ask them to call nick and tell him I was here, disguised it under the pretense of getting a discount. In reality I just wanted him to stop me. Then I heard the news nick had passed away, one of my closest friends had been gone for three years and I knew nothing of it. The rest of the transaction was in silence. I drank it all, maybe I would see my sweet sara again or my friend nick.