Alright! One cat owner to another, I'm gunna point out a couple of things I'm seeing. Lots of other people have made good practical suggestions, so Im gunna talk emotions.

1) you (and your husband) need to remind yourselves that you are in this together. It's not husband vs. cat. You aren't choosing one over the other, you have committed to both of them.

I'm sensing some defensiveness from you on the cats behalf, which I totally get. But ultimately it's not you, husband, and cat. It's just you and husband. The cat is, in this case, part of you, as if you had a kid, or a weird sexual past, or a favorite hobby.
The cat is part of your identity and history, and you need to make sure that, as a result, you take full and all responsibility. That means even if it's normal cat behavior, you can't dismiss the stuff that bothers him just because it's the cat doing it and not you.

I think you know this, but it bears keeping in mind. It also means he should be helpful and supportive in your efforts, and stop thinking of the cat as a nuissance, but a part of his new life that he has to accept. That moving away from the cat stuff? That's passive aggressiveness that has to stop if this is gunna work. He married you, so he married the cat, and that means trying his hardest to make it work. That also means you have to be receptive to his criticism within reason.

2) stop anthropomorphizing your cats feelings. Your cat will be fine in a single room. It cries because it knows you'll let it out. You can, of course, make it as easy as possible for the cat, but the cat is not a human. Tire her out, leave a blanket that smells like you in there, she will learn with time. Cats love routine and hate change. Stay consistent and she will learn. That means ignoring those heart wrenching kitty wails, which I know is tough.

You guys will work this out. Tackle it together and you'll get much further. Good luck!