3. Heaven not worth Hell

Heaven not worth Hell

I understand that. I have for medical reasons been on oxy since I was 15. Degenerative nerve disease. I'm 26. I abused the fuck out of them at first. Realize it and somewhat got better. Then fell back into it. I'm from a family of alcoholic so throw that into there. I abuse them in waves every few months. I couldn't imagine how ppl on here who don't get them for free manage to hold it together. I mean don't get me wrong I've had to um procure some by other means before but all the time. I couldn't handle it. I mean idk what it's like being an adult without them. All the shit i would feel. Love hate shame guilt. However if I stop taking them I'll literally kill myself bc the disease I have is extremely painful. But same time would do anything to make the pain stop and painkillers gone. Bc I'm just a shadow of myself. I'm having surgery on the 20th to implant a machine attached to my spinal chord to stop my nerves from hurting. I'm optimistic. And scared. Scared if it doesn't. And I'm scared if it does. Just read what u said and felt good to type even if no one reads it.

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what would be less stupid to use recreationally every couple weeks from the darknet? m30 (obv not real) OR tested and confirmed uncut heroin? How did your addiction start? I took him food Out of curiosity..if you were given 1 billion dollars, but you couldn’t ever drink or get high again, would you take it? Which is the strongest type of addiction between an Opiate addiction and a Benzodiazepine addiction? fkn doctors Withdrawal after one day of sub use? Anyone know which opiate is the strongest agonist of the mu receptor? Is it just whatever opiates are strongest typically are strongest at that receptor? Did I overdose? Am I addicted to opiates? Today's going to suck Why do people always seem to think that drugs are causing mental health issues rather than we use drugs to cope with mental health issues? What have I done... Anyone else on here NOT want to get clean, and think they'll be a lifetime user? Enough of the bullshit

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