Absolutely, and I won’t bullshit you…it is to an unhealthy amount. I’d actually equate it closer to gambling and I view corp as a slot machine and I’m chasing that max win. The sunk cost is through the roof.

That being said, I I’ve actually been sober for almost 2 months and I couldn’t have said that anytime in my 20s so I’m taking steps.

It’s just frustrating sometimes when people say like, “go to therapy” as if I don’t already have a weekly scheduled visit. Life if so complicated, sometimes it really doesn’t feel like genuine care. It feels more like someone being toxic but hiding it behind fake virtue.

But to play devils advocate, I do choose to be unmediated and with bipolar my mind can be a handful and I can get moody. I just found that, for me personally, those drugs made me have zero emotions and actually increased my suicidal thoughts. So I’d rather bounce around between manic and depressive and combat my disorder using different methods.