You don't have to ask anyone. It's going to require you to use the information your matches have provided (email, names, trees, etc) to then build a DNA tree. You will have to investigate each match just as you would your own family tree.

For example:. Using your mother's DNA you get a match at 120cMs. centiMorgans (cM) is the DNA term for how much chromosomes you and this other person share.

On this page you can input the 120cM and see that this person is probably a 3rd Cousin or maybe a 2nd cousin Once removed etc.

https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4

But maybe you don't know who this person is? You want to compare the matches you share in common. So you will see you have a 98cM match that shares DNA with this same person. Maybe you also have a 69cM and a bunch in the 50s and more down to 40cM.

You will take all of them and cluster them, per the Leeds Method I linked earlier, and then you start building on the same Tree as the one you started for the 120cM match. You are looking for the shared common Ancestor. Everyone who matches each other has one single shared ancestor. Be it male or female.

Then you work to figure out how your mother fits them.

Study the links and do some homework and eventually it will fall into place. There are videos of the Leeds Method on YouTube just look around.