The absolute rage and guilt it's given me too. Knowing that I am housed and my loved ones are not because I'm using a keyboard for someone all day and they haven't been asked to. I always thought growing up that everyone who worked (I didn't know anyone who could get a legal full time job) must be a hyper efficient machine or else why would they get apparent comfort and we (who worked hard in other ways) lived in such poverty? Same with college. I didn't know anyone who'd been so I assumed students were all geniuses. It's absolutely broken my spirit to see that not only are my family and friends' lives unnecessarily cruel (which I knew), it's literally because of absolutely random luck. It's ruining my mental health. Capitalism is unbelievably cruel