Thanks for sharing.

I want a uterus and ovaries tho lol

Yea, I don't play with my reproductive dysphoria, that shit is literally deadly. Nope. Rather play with a black widow with my naked hands than let that out of the box.

I don’t know if I have your faith in the speed of bio vaginas although I think it’ll be worth the wait.

If I could get a 100% guarantee that current SRS options would not impeded future stem-cell made bio ones I would do it. But that 1% is too much of a risk. I'd fall into insanity and murder would be in my eyes with blood dripping from them if that became an option and I was suddenly illegible... off to get a lobotomy or the electric chair - won't end well for me or anyone anyone else for that matter. So... sigh... I don't like hurting people when I'm hurting, and if I've learned one thing, it's I'm really good at hurting people... :'( Best not to tempt the devil I guess.

Sadly... by the ages of 4~5 I knew the darkest possible sides of human sexuality. It's going to take a lot for someone to trump that, but not that people didn't try in my teens and twenties to out rape my first rapist. I have more than a few people who've sexually violated me. Still, I like to think I've been on a path of regaining sex's beauty, albeit slowly, and it is not coming from a place of pain and self-hatred, but of love and love for others. And though they don't know it, I have forgiven everyone who has violated me, and some of them - cringy as it is to say - I love them, but I can't be apart of their lives either.

So yeah, I lost my sexual innocence before I could really speak, and then at seven I lost my physical innocence when he went to kill me with murder in his eyes. I only lived through the night because someone sacrificed themselves for me, and she's paid the price everyday for decades in full. As damaged goods go, I think I've been fucked pretty hard by life, or at least top shelf worthy of damages. We're not even talking about how I suspect I was intersex at birth and they cut me up down there - at least those look like scars down there to me to me and it fits the narrative of my "almost death" at birth and other gory details - but that's only speculation so I assume otherwise for now, despite my lifelong feelings down there. Anywho, both violent and drugged rapes and brutal-bone-breaking beatings are things I know too well.

Still. I love to find the good in people and all things, and I can see a side to all this that's nothing but pure of heart.

We'll see. My fantasies are not over glamorized. I knew a lot of gay male sex workers, mostly streetwalkers, when I was in the rave scene. I have a handful of personal stories in life of "almost went into sex work when ___" (high school homelessness, almost went into modelling in NY, etc.) But I haven't, because despite it all I'm still dripping in privilege, and if I do this, I don't want it to be from a place of pain and unresolved issues. I've been fucked up badly before, and I'm the antithesis to a masochist, so I'm not seeking to get fucked up again - not my thing. I sincerely come at this from a genuine, kind-hearted, sex-positive place, and it is only after years of trauma therapy I'm even willing to admit most of these things to anyone besides my therapists.

That said, it's a job in my mind, and who would do any work if we didn't need money? I'm naturally queer and poly and a lover, and I would probably get around so to say irregardless, but hey, this way I can help some poor chaser figure things out, get paid, and maybe when those bio-vajayjay's come along, I can have the sex life I've most wanted and most dreamed of... sigh

Stupid universe.