Adultery and abuse (physical, mental and verbal) were the main issues. The (long term) affair is what prompted the divorce, but the violence and abuse, fist fights, loaded guns being shoved in my face by a sibling and being told I was wasting everyone's time by being upset, forced to evacuate the house at holidays because another sibling and my dad were actively trying to beat each other to death, that had been going on for years. He told me every night after dinner that he knew I'd never amount to anything "but it's ok, because when you're raped, I'll drop everything to come get you." It never occurred to me how wrong that was until I became an adult.

Don't be a pig. Don't ruin your kids before they even have a chance to ruin themselves. Don't tell them they're too stupid to amount to anything. Don't tell them your family is mad at them because you "made too much noise" at a funeral. Being in tears because my first grandparent died is not "making too much noise" dammit.

Sorry :x be a decent person. That's all your kids need, really. Hope you have a good one :)