I can't tell you how to feel; I won't give you any advice, because any advice won't actually be much help; and I won't tell you that there will always be sunshine and rainbows waiting for you after the darkness is gone. Telling you that shit would be pointless and would probably only make you feel worse. I know it would for me, anyways.

But from my own personal experience, suicide just isn't worth it. The kind of thoughts you're having really only stick around for so long. You'll probably still be feeling like crap when those do go away, but I assure you, you'll get a moment of respite of where those thoughts are just gone, and you won't be thinking of killing yourself then. Suicidal thoughts are like ocean waves; they rise up, consume your mind, your thoughts, and your actions. But eventually, they tide back down, and you can go back to being yourself a little bit more.

You don't think it, but you are a person of value. You've always kept your ear open to another person's problems, despite having your own trouble. That's real strength, to forego your own issues for another. You have a huge presence in this community, even the newcomers know you pretty much as soon as they join. That's because when you open your mouth, people flock to you. You're like a fuckin' modern-day Julius Caesar! And I know that you're a smart guy, too. You seem to know your way around the Arts, like philosophy and history. I believe that it's people like us who will always add our own unique perspectives and wisdom to the world. We understand humanity in ways that others may not; and it's that wisdom that will allow us to help and guide others. I know I've already seen you help others out on this sub before.

You are very much loved here, you're a great guy. I love you man, we all love you. No matter what you're feeling, it's okay. We'll always be here for you when you want us, or if you need someone to listen to you talk. Please always remember that.