I think the biggest problem here is something nobody wants to talk about. NBs and Trans people are fundamentally different. Most NBs don't experience dysphoria and won't transition. Playing with pronouns and hair styles isn't gender. I have never related to NBs, our experiences just do not align, as a binary trans woman.

I have seen numerous times where NB people speak over binary trans people on topics irrelevant to them. "Dysphoria is a social construct" "dysphoria is transphobic" "without society dysphoria wouldn't exist" "passing is transphobic" "surgeries are transphobic" These are prime, prime, examples of shit I've heard and seen from NB people absolutely stepping out of their lane. If you don't experience dysphoria, don't speak on it. Our treatments are demonized, language policed. NBs will never face a quarter of the harassment and hate in the real world as binary trans people.

It shouldn't be controversial to say that NBs and Trans people really don't have a whole lot in common. I shouldn't be called a transphobe for not thinking of the feelings of essentially cis people. Being trans isn't a style, an aesthetic. It's not something you just change day to day. It's an often-depressing existence of mourning what should have been and fighting to have our care covered and taken seriously.