At least you try.

I get this question and it just sends my brain for a loop but end of the day I know it's because I'm so fucked up, I'm not in a good place to be a good relationship for someone else.

Sometimes I wonder if everyone sees that. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just protecting everyone, including myself, from getting to see that.

But I get asked this, mainly by older women but I'll get it from girls my age too (I'm a guy) and it sends me for a loop. It makes me question if I cant read signals from girls properly. It makes me wonder if my standards are too high. It makes me question why I can't just be like every other johnny douchebag and run around sleeping with every girl that laughs at my jokes and stupid personality. It makes me wonder why I cant find a girl that wants me, that I want back. So many questions get raised when I get asked this all because I'm a fucked up loser.

At least you know you're worth a relationship. I'm not even sure I'm worth that, and I don't need people on the internet that don't know me telling me I am, it's ok. I'll figure it out one day, even if it's on my death bed realising I wasn't, that's fine. But you know now. You know you're worth the relationship at least. Now all there is left to do is find the other person that fits with you for that relationship. It's because you haven't found the right one yet, and that's true. At least you can say that honestly.

I guess it still sucks to have people bother you as to why you're single still. Like it's their business. Like it's a big deal. Like there's some timeline you have to follow, and you're reaching the expiration point for being single. I can understand that, but at least you know it's on your own terms. At least you have evidence to prove it's on your own terms.

I hope you find your one. I hope this question becomes less annoying for you and you can find the humor in it so it doesn't annoy you all the time when the question is asked. And I doubt it's because everything you are "isn't good enough". The guy at your work sounds like he's just trying to keep his head above water and be a good boyfriend to his current girlfriend, you can respect that, no? Don't be so hard on yourself. You'll find the one, just gotta keep trying like you have been until he comes around.