The first part is that they aren't exactly "lies" they are him not telling me things he thinks will upset me... for instance.. I'm going to use an example - a specific person was trying to cross boundaries with him and he ended that friendship, an 8 year friendship because she was disrespecting our relationship. She has one of his hoodies from when we went to a concert and he wants that back. I asked him to wait a bit to contact her because the situation really upset me (I can overthink things).. but I didn't find out until about 5 days after, 2 weeks ago, that he unblocked her to send her a message to ask to get his hoodie back. I was upset because I would prefer him telling me right then and there instead of later, she when I found out, out of him saying something that I mentioned of her, he showed me the text but he didn't want to tell me because he knew it would upset me, but what I've tried explaining to him is that even if it upsets me, I would prefer being told upfront because if he had been able to get his hoodie, I would he more upset knowing that, that occurred over being told so I'm aware. If that makes sense... so it comes off as a lie to me.
The second one: He's not someone that raises their voice or likes to argue or like stress. So when we argue, it's me starting it and him telling me he will give me space. He's very introvert, I'm extrovert and more forward. He's had girlfriends that have raised hell with him over things and were abusive so I think it has a lot to hoping I'm not going to do the same so he would prefer avoiding conflict... but I prefer knowing things. I'm not explaining that part very well.
Third one - I actually owe him $3,500 for helping me move into my apartment. I want to pay him back, but because I struggle I have a difficult time doing that. Things would be much easier for me if he would come and help and split bills. I could pay him back. Owing someone money causes me a ton of stress and it's embarrassing to me. He definitely cares, but he could care more and I do believe he loves me. In a dramatic sense, he moves at the pace monk moves. He doesn't do well with changes and he doesn't like moving a lot.
I just want to be happy and live together and not be stressed with everything around me. I would like to work one less day a week, I currently work 7 days to make sure I can pay my important bills. Stress makes me unhappy, he personally does not even though the minimal I discussed probably makes it seem like I'm unhappy with him. I guess I'm more unhappy with myself and my situation and getting help and not being alone and doing it alone would make things better and easier.