You are way too focused on looks. I think you are hiding in your own head too much my man. There is no reason to kill yourself, even if you can't get a gf/family that you wanted. I can't get a family or gf because I don't think it's a responsible thing to do. I want one badly but I have had mental health issues in the past and I don't feel comfortable bringing children into this world.

Even so, I don't think you are so unattractive that nobody will date you / be with you. In fact I'm pretty sure such a thing doesn't even exist. I know many people I would deem to be unattractive who have gotten married and found partners. Partnership has to do more with a bond and comfortably. Also it sounds like you are doing all these things, " I tried rosary praying, self-help, nofap,cold showers,subliminal audio tracks, but i still cant climb the objective hierarchy of society. " Because you want a reward of a gf. That's not how things work and you need to realize you gotta put yourself out there and continue to better yourself if you want to find a partner. It's tough, but it's supposed to be tough, you can do it. Yes rating hierarchies exist but they are not the defining factor in this world by any margin.

There a lot of routes life can take you, stop focusing on your goals of companionship and focus more on what brings you joy and fulfillment without it, and keep striving twords it. Forget the fake incel + blackpill bullshit, that's just a manufactured reality to make you feel like shit. Start going places online that does better for your mental health and keep striving.

I also recommend reading these articles: https://waitbutwhy.com/2019/08/story-of-us.html Because it kinda illuminates how reality is centered around thoughts and the stories we tell ourselves. Read philosophy too. Maybe it's time for your mentality to die, but don't harm your body my man.