I'll be nice because I think the post is genuine.

Newcastle is a club in the north east of England they are mainly a working class town and their fans are similar to Liverpool in that they are very passionate and they grow up supporting the club from an early age. We aren't the most successful club (yet) but we had some noticeable players like Shearer, Ben Arfa, Cabaye..etc and a really great manager in Bobby Robson who managed the team for 5 years.

We are currently managed by Rafa Benitez who as you probably know is a top manager who came in with 10 games to go but it was a bit late to save our season. We have a fairly young team overall and some great prospects, Mitrovic our striker is 21 is a walking cunt but we love him and he will beat the shit out of anyone in football right now. Ayoze Perez was linked in his early career with loads of different teams and still is he is 22 and he has his best years ahead of him. Or center back Lascelles is a young English player with a strong personality and he really came through for us when other players failed this year. Rolando Aarons is young and fast. We are currently rebuilding our squad after years of not getting much investment and selling our best players. The main thing to see is we have potential as a team overall we just need 4 or 5 signings and keeping our manager.

As for Ozil no we don't have any players even remotely like him other than maybe Shelvey but he isn't even close to that level and he is probably the most inconsistent player since Nani. As for Americans nope we haven't been linked with anyone and currently have no one in our squad from there. Mostly our squad is from central Europe.