I'm not usually one to critique a person's appearance because doing so usually comes off rude, no matter the intention. I'm making an exception here.
A possible reason you aren't getting messages is less about your weight or femininity, and more about your style. I only have one picture of you to go on, but in that picture your hair is a mess and you're wearing a ratty hoodie. You're definitely not ugly, you're just not doing yourself any favors with the rest of your presentation. I know that I would be unlikely to message you based on that picture, because of those two factors alone.
As someone who is very style challenged as well (I have like two types of outfit I look decent in and I almost always wear some variation on those, I don't know what the hell to do with my hair), I get that it might not be super easy to change these things. I also understand that not everyone has money to blow on vanity, and not everyone feels that working on their appearance is a valuable use of their time. All of that is fine. If you do have the means and desire, I'd suggest checking out r/malefashionadvice, and I'd also suggest finding a good hair stylist/barber in your area and consulting with them. You can splurge a little the first time to figure out what you like and what looks good, then take a picture to show when you go back to another less-expensive hair cutter.
The other thing is that if you take my advice, don't expect it to solve your problem. I'm sure it will help, but if you have no confidence or no personality, it's not going to get you very far, and even if you have confidence and personality in spades, a new haircut is not necessarily going to be a magic bullet. At a certain point you'll have done all you can do, and it will just be a matter of messaging/meeting the right person at the right time. If it doesn't happen for a long time, it will be easy to let it wear you down, but the important thing is to live in a state of hope. There are other guys out there like you, and there are guys out there who are into guys like you, and I hope you find them. Let us know how things shake out.