(2/2) So after this miraculous soul healing and glimpse into the Holy Spirit I know my fasting will change and transform me... Originally I planned a two day fast, now the minimum for me is a week because I know I'm being guided by God and that this is what I both want and need to do on my journey of repentance, healing and redemption...
I hope I didn't come off as either self righteous, boastful, arrogant, deluded or misguided, and I hope you don't think I'll become a false prophet or that I'm simply delusional from drug use, lack of sleep, schizophrenia or any other "rational" explanation to my journey... I wasn't trying to make myself seem like a better person than I actually am by going into detail about my feelings surrounding the self proclaimed "tests" by God and simultaneous blessings I experienced and that I'm blaspheming the Holy Trinity when I say I feel as if God called me from my life of sin and unrepentant, fearful, demonic Hell that I called life before the initial "test" happened that showed my true character to God...
Another thing I forgot to add... That initial "test" in which I was willing to put my life on the line happened the first day I decided to self medicate with Ritalin (before I was prescribed it, as I actually do have ADHD and use it for mostly therapeutic and to a lesser extent work/efficiency... I overdo it sometimes but it's never to simply "get high" or "tweak out"... I always go into the drug with either a spiritual or emotional intent that I plan on working on therapeutically with the drug as my tool, or I use it for my ADHD when I need concentration to get work done (school/self projects/reading/etc) or I need to get physical work done like cleaning my apartment or fixing something...)
So I know you weren't expecting an answer this long, rampant, or possibly thought provoking, and you also weren't expecting to hear my life story and my personal belief in being called by God out of a demonic Hell and back into faith, into truth and into the start of a spiritual journey that will both heal me from past sin and demonic influence, transform me into a lovingly obedient follower of Christ and possibly bring others back to the Holy Trinity through my potential breakthroughs I'm confident God will bless me with...
So because of all this, I'm embarking on an extended fast in the hopes of reconnecting with God and His son Christ, becoming morally enlightened and therefore able to sincerely repent of all former sin, healing spiritually and becoming transformed spiritually into the likeness of God and Jesus (not in a delusional way, but by becoming obedient to every teaching of Christ and hopefully through His rejuvenation and transformation of my soul into that of their spirit... as in, the ability to lovingly connect with, empathize, love and relate to others in a deep, soulful way that results in the cultivation of a loving, Holy soul that can actually feel emotions deeply and regard humans as Jesus did)
Yes this sounds really out there and you may be right in thinking this won't happen (my potential spiritual transformation that I pray will occur from my fast) but then again it could happen... God's a loving God and so is His son Jesus, fasting in conjunction with prayer, readings of the gospel and therapeutic use of Ritalin for an extended period of time could result in this... I mean, in a day and a half of fasting and prayer my soul began to heal, my heart opened up and overcame demonic spiritual blindness and I already feel an improvement in my connection with our Lord and an amazing increase of my faith...
Sorry for this wall of narcissistic babbling, when I use my medication my mind connects everything and I understand and learn while I'm writing...
If you managed to read this, or any of you who managed to read this, could you give me your opinion on my theories and my spiritual goals and possibly offer advice in making these goals a reality through our God? Thanks to anybody that answers this