Insecure about the number of guys I've had sex with. [20F]

Honestly. You shouldn't care about it, what's done is done, not sure how the abuse relates to it but if you feel it's relevant it's NOT something to be ignored OP.

However, I personally would never consider a female with such a high count for anything more than casual sex. I'm sorry OP. I tend to look at long term relationships as a bit of a gamble, because by the time you open the present years have passed, and you may not like what you get. Time is precious.

The way I see it is simple, it is laughably easy for a woman to have sex. I mean there is no arguing this fact, I know an insane amount of fairly unattractive neighbourhood bikes. But have never met a fat unattractive man slut.

A woman average and above has to do nothing but approach and ask, and most times not even that, sit there and wait and you'll get laid. So to me a number as high as 70 or even 100 just seems like overindulgence, like eating a whole thing of ice cream just because you can, like there is no value placed on the act of sex. For a man to pull such an amazing feat, it's not as simple as sitting there looking pretty or saying "hey baby wanna fuck?". It's a good way to get on a street harassment video though.

For a man to be a stud, he has to rise above, be strong mentally/physically/both, be funny, have a large social circle, belong to an exclusive group, be charismatic, be rich, be tall, have a large penis, interesting, well travelled, intelligent, etc. Of course a lot of guys have some of these, some not. But a dude that has none or very few of the qualities that makes a man attractive in the collective eyes of womankind, ie. The average man, doesn't have an ice cubes chance in hell.

They might have sex with 1,2,4 women. Then marry. The other small percentage of men who worked on their qualities, who worked out, who developed a sense of humour, who have social skills, who are intelligent and have fun lives, they will of course have a lot more women. While the naturally gifted males have an insane amount of women from high school pretty much until whenever they decide enough is enough or waste their talents.

This is simple, women have 9 months where they are easy prey, weak, and vulnerable. Then after a potentially life threatening birth have to raise a kid for the next decade and a half+. Females have to ensure the absolute best DNA gets in, this is true for all species and it is true for us. That is why they gravitate towards these males and give the average joe such a hard time.

But then you have a woman who isn't doing this, a woman who is not being a good gatekeeper and keeping lazy layabouts and dudes playing cod in mummy's basement at 26 out of her lady parts. A girl who screws three drunken dudes in a bathroom stall just because. That shows lack of impulse control, it shows overindulgence like superman using x Ray powers to beat off, it's just nothing to be impressed about and shows me the girl doesn't value herself by letting Timmy 10th prestige energy drink and vodka addict and his buds run a train on her.

She's not banging handsome neurosurgeons or firefighters or something, not 70-100+ of them, she isn't someone who makes a guy wait to learn what he's about and see if he's someone she wants to share herself with. I just would never take that risk. Maybe my assessment is wrong for a specific girl, but too much time is on the line to risk anything more than a casual lay.

A woman who filters dudes out, who guys have to wait for not because of a power play or because she doesn't want them to think she's a "slut", but because she wants to see who they are. That kind of girl obviously values herself, and sex in general a LOT more than the other girl. If I can conquer her, climb that mountain with my awesomeness and she gives herself to me and I take what is mine it's sooooooo much better. At least in my opinion.

You are what you are OP, nothing can change the past, but you can change the reasons behind the promiscuity if you feel they are negative. And find a guy who isn't an asshole like me. You can be loved and are not broken. But that's my opinion of it. Good luck!

/r/sex Thread