Okay I'll be honest cause you seem like a chill person who actually is interested. I used to see escorts a bit but after a while the complete lack of anything emotional was getting to me, it's just business for them, and sometimes their clientele try to hurt them so they usually just want the transaction to be done with. Plus after a while when leaving I started thinking "I could have just jerked it and had lots of money for normal fun things like dinner or head phones. Cl was a bit better but you have to sift through all the spam like everybody says. And the gay dudes. And the gay dudes that pretend to be girls until they have your photo or number, and they're just like "lemme suck you its the same thing bro". But you can find a girl every once in a while. One time I had an awesome time with a milf! She was like 35-40 and I'm young 20's for reference. But you'll never meet like a normal girl your age who wants like a hook up but also friendship. My last few encounters were kinda fun, but the girls are overweight and not the best looking. One hadn't shaved in a bit.. Which you know is cool cause I was just looking to get laid but really started feeling like shit after dwelling on it for a bit. Like I'll have normal decent looking girls try to smile to me at school, and because I'm awkward or whatever I can't stay still and talk with them, and then go to an encounter with somebody who looks usually 600% worse than the chick you maybe could have talked to. Oh and also cl is dangerous. I'm sure it's way more dangerous for girls but I had a really bad experience that really hurt my self confidence a lot. But in the long run I wonder if any girl would want to date me knowing my sexual past, and so I honestly think it would have been so so much better for me if I had just tried to date normally going into college. Like I would trade one girlfriend for all those chicks I banged, but am also worried I'm too damaged to emotionally damaged to connect with/truly trust anybody now. But I'm working on it! I haven't seen anybody like that in a month or so and am really trying not to go back, and have more friends that are girls, even if they don't want to date me. Anyways hope this brings perspective, I'm just being honest and sharing, hope this isn't too weird.