not being a man because he doesn't have a dick.

That wasn't really the part I was disagreeing with. I do think they are the gender they chose. I was disagreeing with those in the trans community who were criticizing those who are gay, for not daing or considering dating someone who is trans because of their genitalia being a deal breaker.

As for the other question, is it transphobic for a guy guy to prefer not wanting to date a trans guy? Not at all. However it's a flawed assumption to say that all or most gay guys would share that position. There's a ton of ways to be intimate with someone that does not involve them penetrating you. There are even ways around that - you say in the comments you're in to BDSM (so am I) so I'm sure you know of many.

Ofcourse I know there are other ways to be penetrated, but what I am refering to is dick vs vigina. Vigina freaks me out, same with must gay guys. And I day that because there has been studies with MRI machines that when a gay man is shown a vigina imagine his brain lights up in the region of the brain that reads as fear, panic. Majority of gay men are men are wired to loathe vigina.

Honestly not trying to attack you or say you're wrong or mean

And don't worry I don't feel attack by you at all. This is what i was hoping for a more open, reasonable discussion, which I know is hard to have online.