Some people just aren’t bothered by their romantic interests having sex with others, or are even turned on by it. Some people are. Dealing with something similar myself right now.

Hooked up with a guy about 6 months ago while I was visiting home (300 miles away but I visit every 4-6 weeks or so) and it was amazing. Perfectly my type, so passionate, couldn’t have gone better. We text all the time, FaceTime 4-5 night per week, have met another 6 times since then and it has been amazing every time.

Since we met, I stopped hooking up with other guys. Just didn’t feel right. He is on Grindr constantly and it bothers me so much. He is recently out of a 20-year relationship where they didn’t have sex for the last 10+ years, so I understand why this new Grindr world would be new and exciting for him and why a long-distance thing right now with rare visits would be not super desirable for him right now.

I think it’s almost important for most guys (not all) to have a slutty hookup phase to get it out of their system and find what they want. I had mine and I think that’s why I’m over it and content with a one-man thing. He’s kind of going through that now.

I’m moving back to that area in a year (planned this even before I met him) and if he wanted to be long-distance exclusive partners until then I would be happy with that. He says he would enjoy an exclusive relationship if I was local, but doesn’t know why I would want to deprive myself of sexual gratification for all that time. He encourages me to have fun and says it kind of turns him on. He says he isn’t even hooking up often, just enjoys chatting and using Grindr more as a distraction. I get it.

Is he wrong for feeling the way he feels in this situation? No. Am I wrong? Also no. We are just two different people.