Am I letting the perfect be the enemy of the good by looking for someone who hits on all levels?

I think this is a good phrase.

It might be worth chatting with your therapist to clarify your non-negotionables. You can literally get a page and divide it down the middle - on one side you write down the 1-3 traits that are 100% essential in a romantic partner and on the other side you write down the rest of the traits that you really, really want but would be willing to compromise on.

You’ll need to work out whether shared cultural references is a 100% essential trait or just a trait you really prefer. If it is essential then that’s fine but you also need to accept that you will severely diminish your potential dating pool, potentially to almost nothing if you also factor in where they live, if they’re single and if they’re also interested in you.

My two essential traits were 1) sense of humour and 2) clean and tidy around the house. All my other traits were just preferred like shared hobbies, focus on gym and fitness, etc.