Assumption:

Youre not top-tier women fight over you attractive. Not saying youre ugly, just that you're in that middle of the pack group

Problem with the group of men youre in:

A lot of them dont get much traction with girls. So they're lonely and needy. They basically want a GF. Trouble is that practically any girl will do. Be it her, her sister or her neigbour.

And also these guys are often needy and possessive. These guys may see themselves as nice and pride themselves on not being sexual. But in realitive apart from the issues Ive already written about they come of as weak and spineless.

So what is the deal? It's a two stage thing. Stage one is showing you're not weak and spineless, but instead posses strength and initiative. So can you escalate, get her going and get her naked?

Stage two is a about respect. Can you refrain from being needy and possesive after the sex? Can you clearly signal that she is welcome for round two, but you have no issues with her moving on and this being a one night stand?

Then you open the door to a relationship. You've proven yourself .. that youre worth investing it.

Most relationships start chemistry -> hookup -> repeat -> more

They don't start with strangers promising commitment to each other