3. LAOP is renting from their mother-in-law"a friend...who has designated mother-in...

LAOP is renting from their mother-in-law"a friend...who has designated mother-in-law as the "properly manager." WCGW?

I think some of them don't even notice they're doing it. I have this extremely volatile aunt and her entire family structure is based around her husband and kids keeping her from blowing up. They don't even realize they're trying to keep the peace with mom at the expense of other people, that's just what the entire family has always done so that's what they do, without even noticing. It suddenly becomes a problem when they have a partner who also has wants, needs, and opinions and isn't enmeshed in this crazy long-term mom-appeasing racket. To them it looks like their partner is just being a dbag and prioritizing mom over them. But to my cousins they just... are acting normal.

I have some similar things with my parents -- ways of acting that I've been doing my entire life so I have no idea I'm doing them and don't even realize it's possible to make a different choice, even when it's OBVIOUSLY possible to anyone who isn't me.

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