I worked a long time to find a style that suited me. I tend to be a little bookish in my day to day since I work in the tech field. It's still hit and miss but after buying literally everything some things ended up working lol. I also followed a few fashion magazines when I was younger, but there are websites like modcloth that have a lot of eclectic choices so you can just pick and choose what you like.

I don't have a problem with people having fetishises per se, if it's consensual then I don't really see an issue. My husband loves me for me he doesn't really fetishize me and treats me like a wife. What we do together in our bedroom is for fun and just for us. :)

I get annoyed that I need to constantly come out as trans, I don't like the idea of stealth I think it's a self imposed closet so most of my frustration revolves around general lack of awareness of transgender people and how to be kind and empathetic when you do have to come out. Like coming out at work I just get confused looks since most people just assume I'm cis so I'm constantly navigating a mine field.