I've got some material that might help you understand it if you'd be interested. I should mention while these are very close to mindfulness as I've seen some teach it, they are slightly different from how others deal with it. Different people mean slightly different things when they use the word.

I touch on the subject here in the context of overcoming my depression. I think it's better than my LPT post today because that battle was the start of my work on the subject and my rhythm for delivery is better when I can mention more of the personal problems I used that technique to overcome. I couldn't post the unadulterated text here because LPT specifically says no submissions about depression. I have used the same technique for multiple other changes so I still consider what I submitted in this sub today as valid, but it's not as well written as the link above.

I'm going to rewrite this next piece in the coming days, but this is an exerpt from a converstation I've been having in PMs that also deals with the subject. Please excuse my references to the questions I was answering and the earlier PMs I had sent. Again, these deal with my personal issues, other people would have slightly different cues that trigger them and different responses to those triggers.

Each time I was exposed to an instance of not living up to the person I wanted to be I would avoid my problems, and each time I avoided what needed to be done I'd fall farther behind setting myself up for yet another painful juxtaposition between who I wanted to be and where I actually was.

There are two sides to overcoming this. One is accepting who you are, not who you want to be. The problem with who you want to be is that it's not realistic. You may even end up doing greater, albeit different, things than those unrealistic expectations eventually but the only way to get there is one step at a time. Remind yourself when faced with these cues that you are where you are right now, nothing can possibly change that, therefore the best thing possible is to act accepting who you currently are rather than comparing that position to your unrealistic self image. The next side to overcoming this problem is accepting who you were and how that led you to your current situation. Accepting this isn't defeatist, it isn't saying that you agree with all your past decisions. Rather, to ignore who you were and the mistakes you've made is to ignore the likelihood of your making similar mistakes in the future. You need to accept those mistakes, embrace them even, to realize what needs to be overcome so that those mistakes won't be made once again. If you run from your problems you will run into them again headlong and blind, blinded by your unwillingness to accept.

The only time you can act is now, in the moment, so there is no need to worry about the mistakes you have made or who you want to become, it's all about the next simple step. When you notice yourself shrinking from who you were, or building up who you want to be, remember that you can only act in the moment. Remove the judgement from who you were because you cannot do anything about it, it doesn't matter if those mistakes were years past or five minutes ago. When you find yourself not living up to who you wanted to be, remember that who you wanted to be was never real, so again remove the judgement of comparing your real self to this illusory self. The pressure of those judgements is the biggest impediment to actually improving. Likewise though, don't kick yourself when you still find judgement in your thoughts, that too is part of who you were and to pretend that it would end in an instant is the same type of mistake as pretending your other bad habits will simply vanish. It's an interesting apparent contradiction that the best way to improve is to embrace your failings, because only then do you know what in this moment must be overcome.

Now, back to your first questions about what I'd do when I had a horrible day. There are two strategies I'd use. One relates significantly what I've just described, I'd try to accept what is. I talked a lot about the past and future, but I'd like to focus on the moment for a spell here. I would try to simply accept and embrace the moment. I would focus on my senses, give up judgement, give up trying to make sense of everything around me, just let reality be and soak it in, bathe in it. Relax, breathe in, and let myself stop thinking in circles. You don't realize how stressful trying to make sense of the moment is until you give it up and just let yourself be for a while. I often used sunsets to cue this behavior, use them as a trigger to relax, be with reality, and just breathe it in.

Once I calmed a bit, I'd move on to the next step in acceptance. Here we return to what I discussed above. I'd forgive myself for the bad day. Kicking myself over the mistakes I made wouldn't do any good. The day unfolded as it did, mistakes and all. Nothing to do about it now. I'd try and revise my expectations of myself and forgive myself for differences between who I had been and who I had wanted myself to be. It is in many ways the violation of these expectations that is so painful, so I'd try to bring those expectations more closely in line with reality to diminish the pain I might feel both now and when inevitably again I am the person that I am rather than the person I once wanted to be. In short I'd try to accept the moment, first letting go of the moment and just being with it, then accepting what was done was done, then accepting that the person I wanted to be was an illusion I didn't need to compare myself to.