they've been dating since january. he just discussed this with her.

it's a new topic.

I mean, if you're trying to find red flags about the person you're dating undoubtedly you'll find some.

genital mutilation of any sort is a tremendous psychological burden. so much of our self-image is derived from our genitals. it's also something we keep very private, very hidden.

so the guy freaks out more than the average person. she can be kind & understanding, it's not that hard.

it doesn't sound like they argue about it a bunch. he just freaked out the day after he told her. asking for help on a public forum isn't a sign of weakness or a sign that this is troubling her. from what she said in the original post, it sounds like she wanted a way to make him feel ok. she only used the term red flag after the person I replied to used it. I find that person's comment so inappropriate and inconsiderate.

I just don't get people sometimes. I mean, if say a woman had breast cancer and had scars on her breasts, and she felt SUPER uneasy after the first time she showed her boyfriend her breasts, and the boyfriend came here asking "how can I make her feel ok?"

would you really say "that's a red flag!" that would be an AWFUL thing to say. people are shy and uncomfortable when they don't feel like they're the "norm".

I had an ex who had very long labia. she was SUPER shy when we first saw each other naked. "RED FLAG"? no. it took her some time to accept that I didn't mind - I thought she was super hot, and I loved going down on her. we had a wonderful relationship.

just be nice when you're dating people? not everything has to be "red flag" "break up" "move on". people aren't perfect, and that's ok.