I can totally emphasize with that dude. My wife was just like that for years. Things didn't change till I showed her I could move on. It was a horrible existence and I started dreading coming home. The more I did the less she did, and if I stopped doing it, it just never got done. You can't live in a house that hasn't been cleaned for weeks with young kids. It's rather funny how far it had to go before she realized I was done. I had a date and she called the police for a suicide call on me, and they arrested me while I was on the way. I got out of hold the next morning, but got fired from my job for it. Child services showed up and after a visit came back and told her she needed to get her shit straight, the shocked face she had when they called her out was priceless. They demanded she get therapy and the whole time she was complaining that she called on me, and she wasn't the problem. She eventually figured it out, and got her shit together, but if I'm being honest she is still rather lacking but goes out of her way to keep me happy. I still have no idea how someone can sit all day and do nothing but think the other person working 70 hrs and does the cleaning and cooking is the problem.