Unfortunately Im in your boyfriend's position at the moment. I (f26) have had a bad habit of small stupid White lies to my boyfriend (m28), dumb stuff, basically I was (working on it) massively anti-confrontational and so would tell silly lies that didn't seem like a big deal just to avoid confrontation or so that he wouldn't think less of me.

We have been together nearly 2.5 years now and for the first year I was quite insecure about our relationship, I couldn't believe he wanted to be with me, which really just came down to my own self esteem. And if something came up that I thought would paint me in a bad light I would lie even if it was just a silly thing. It almost broke us but I worked on it and started to feel more confident in the relationship.

Then the other day we were on face book (we both deactivated our accounts about 1.5 years ago) because I was setting up a new account for his new business and he saw my ex was on my recent searches. it was from over a year ago and i panicked and said I didn't remember, then later it came out that I did remember it. I was homesick and went on Facebook just to see what my friends were doing, then on a whim decided to look him up out of curiosity. My partner is an incredibly honest and respectful partner, to the point where sometimes I get so worried that I'm going to screw up and hurt him. He was extremely upset about this as I would be in his shoes, he's now think ing about whether he can still be with me.

Sorry for the long back story, but I just want to know do you think he can change? Do you think you could trust him again? I've said to my boyfriend that I will go to therapy as I'm sure there is more to this lying thing and I don't want to go through life like this. Because once you lie it's stressful, you have to remember it always and it rarely works in the long run. I really want to change for both of our sakes but I couldn't bare to hurt him again and I don't know if I fully trust myself to not do it again.