It's been a struggle. For sure. I've spent the last 15 years dealing with Depression, Anxiety, and ADHD. Motivation is a true struggle. I've almost failed (and actually failed,) almost every class I've taken, because halfway though, my brain catches up with me, and it pulls me back down into the mud.
I spend every day of my life wishing I had motivation enough to even move out of bed. Wishing I wanted to deal with the outside world, and other people.
The feeling of knowing that "there's no point," is overwhelming. It's crippling. Knowing, in the deepest parts of your soul, that no matter whether or not you get up for the day, that you'll just end up in the same darkness you were hiding inside in the first place. The swimming, black, suffocating blackness that starts in the back of your skull and swims forward, clouding your entire field of vision in pure nothingness, fills your entire body, and you can't move. You can't think. You can't sleep, but you feel like you're having a nightmare.
Eventually, you have to forcibly apply a reason to get out of bed to yourself. Something. Anything. And then, somewhere along the lines, you have to use that same reason as a reason not to kill yourself. Whatever it is, its worth it.
Knowing you'll see your mother's smile again. Getting one more page of your comic finished. Eating another Cheeseburger, because cheeseburgers are awesome. Something. Anything. It can even change, week-to-week. You might lose your mother, your comic might be trash, and there could be a worldwide cheeseburger shortage.
That doesn't mean those are the only reasons to keep moving. To "Just Keep Swimming." Everyone has an infinite amount of reasons to keep moving.
If it wasn't clear already, those were my reasons. (Well, not the cheeseburger one, though cheeseburgers are awesome. Even if I lose any of them, I will find another one, if only to stay alive.
Even if that reason is "I'm just gonna live until the next episode of Modern Family," there's always a reason.
(Sorry. I think I got a little... off track. I think that was mostly for my sake. Really wish I had done it on a different account now. One without my name and stuff.)