gamers of Reddit what's the funniest thing you heard over the mic?

I'll make it a long story short. Back in the early 2000's my Step father got me into CS. When mom and I moved in, he set me up with my own computer in my room. He had his own office room , and we would play CS together online. One night mom went to bed early and he asked me if I wanted to play online. "Yes!" I said, wanting to get on my new dad's good side. I went to my room, he went to his office. Played a few intense rounds, things seemed to be going well! I thought this is awesome , what a cool guy. I went to his office room to jump in and surprise him and tell him how Cool I thought he was ... ran down the hallway opened the quickly opened the door.... he was naked, feet above his head in stirrups , masturbating to gay porn on his laptop, with CS playing randomly on his computer. We made eye contact. I went back into my room. Stared at the ceiling.

/r/AskReddit Thread