Heavy heavy heavy day.

Today was the memorial service for my friend’s husband. Hearing her tell me “I cant keep telling my son every day that his dad isn’t coming home when he asks where his best friend is” broke something in me. I don’t know how you move on and keep going after such a tragedy.

His dad gave the eulogy and spoke about his military service. On top of the awful experiences he had during his two tours, the captain of his ship was removed for failure to protect the youngest crew from the hazing that was going on. From what others said, he got the worst of it. I don’t even want to think about what went on that they actually acted and removed her, apparently immediately. He had such a loving soul. He helped. Genuinely helped those around him. He gave constantly - time, money, energy. He was so so loved. But it was all overshadowed by whatever awfulness he endured.

This was my 3rd or 4th Catholic service of the year on top of the other funerals. I have practically memorized the service and all the things you have to do during it. I am just done with death. I cannot take anymore this year.