OK this may take a while to explain, but im bored as fuck so here goes.... Throwaway for reasons that will be made obvious.
I work at a pretty large facility.. when i was a first year apprentice, i was put straight into the section that looks after the security cameras for the entire site. it was generally a very slow place to work, many days nothing would be happening and i'd be instructed to take apart old panels and computers and move the spare parts to a shitty old warehouse that was close by. This was one of those days.
Having not worked before i got this job, i was not used to getting up early and my body clock was sort of out of order... Every morning for the first month or so i'd get a raging morning boner about an hour after i arrived.
This particular morning it was fucken unbearable.. it just did not want to go away no matter how many unsexy thoughts i tried to imagine. it was honestly starting to hurt. On my way up to the warehouse, i decided something had to be done. For some reason, amongst all the junk in the warehouse, there was a crappy old piano in the corner. I got out my phone, placed it on the little part that holds the sheet music, queued up some porn, and proceeded to beat my dick like it owed me money. After a while i was finished, greatly relieved, and ready to continue serving the company to the best of my ability.
After cleaning up and as i started zipping up my pants, i turned around and something caught my eye on the wall of the warehouse... to my horror, it was a cctv camera literally pointing straight at the fucking piano. FUCK! i spent the rest of the day worried one of my workmates was watching from the other end, but as luck would have it, the day passed by, nothing further came of it and i started to relax. i got into my car that afternoon thinking i had gotten away with it, but it wasn't over yet..
The next morning, i went to the bosses office for the days work order, and was told i'd be doing computer work with the technicians upstairs. Cool, that sounds interesting. I was learning to code PLCs and draw block diagrams with them for most of the day, but after lunch the old guy supervising me came over to my computer and started showing me a few things about the camera system. He brought up a huge list of every camera on site, and clicked on one to show me. This one was aimed at a smoke stack. There was a colour coded timeline below the video feed. He explained that the parts of it that were red indicated where it detected movement at that point. He could access anything the camera recorded up to 2 weeks old. He clicked on a red part and sure enough it showed an emission from the stack from earlier that day. He began cycling through the cameras at random to futher demonstrate his point. Next camera: an intersection. red part = traffic movement. Next camera: rail crossing. red part = train. Next camera: car park. red part = bird landing near camera. you get the point. Anyways, as he was cycling through so many cameras, i started to get the sinking feeling he would come across the one from yesterday. I tried to convey that i completely understood how it functioned and no further demonstration would be necessary, but no, he just kept on clicking.
I could see the camera "warehouse 4" in the list. my heart was racing. Please don't fucking choose that one you old bastard. Sure enough, CLICK. The fucking piano in that shitty warehouse was perfectly visible in the centre of the screen. I noticed the timeline below the feed. Completely green except for one red part yesterday morning. I will not ever be able to properly explain how fucking terrified i was at that moment. My mind was having a meltdown. I considered launching the him, me or the computer out of the nearby window. He moved the cursor over to the red bit... I think i shat my pants a little at this point... I was about to experience the most embarassing moment of my life. I would likely end up losing my dream job, and become unemployable in the industry. Id be a laughing stock, completely ridiculed. I imagined the shame and dishonour i would bring upon myself and my family. Suicide or a life of exile were to be my only options after he clicked that mouse button.
And then that is when something magical happened. His phone rang. He stopped and answered. The conversation was like something out of a movie. "what? really? fuck! OK im on my way right now". Some very important server in a switchroom somewhere was going haywire, and only he could fix it. As he went for the door he told me to grab my things and come with him down to the work van. As soon as he went out the door i CTRL+ALT+DELETED the living shit out of that computer and ended every task that was running. I didn't touch my dick again for weeks afterwards.