You told your wife you’ll follow her in how to deal with her parents. And you discuss everything with her. And that seems like the proper thing to do. However, she only just had a baby. That takes so much energy and the stress from living with alcoholic family is not helping her recovery. I don’t mean to say she’s unable to decide what she wants, she still has an opinion of course. But, in this situation, where everything is wrong; your kids being around drunken people, your money disappearing into an unknown pit, your future roof is perhaps not even a good one, stress all day every day awaiting the horrible behaviours again. Doesn’t she need someone to step up and stand in front of her now, rather than somewhat behind next her? I think it’s time you say to your wife, “listen darling, I’m going to find us another place to stay ASAP and we move out. No ifs or buts, this is not a debate. I need to take care of you so you can take care of yourself and our newborn. Because this is not cutting it any longer!” And than go and find another place, move out and go about finding other solutions. Your wife may find something of this, but I’m sure she’ll be relieved to not have to live there anymore, to not have to decide anymore. Any problem coming up than can be solved stress free. The relationship with your in-laws will suffer either way, staying or leaving, it will deteriorate anyway. This is a time where you need to step up and take the lead. Democracy can return when you’ve all settled down again.