This is so important!! I'm a woman, and tend to find myself feeling kind of worthless and full of self doubt when sex/almost sex only happens at all because I initiated it and followed through.

I care so much more about feeling wanted than about having an orgasm. I want to feel sexy and desired, instead of discouraged and unattractive. I wanna feel like the sex is happening because he wants me and not because he wants a warm wet place to put his dick.

I think the difficult part is that people are so hesitant to communicate about their wants and needs during sex (especially at OP and his gf's age). Feelings get hurt accidentally, and misunderstandings happen.

It's all normal, but my best advice to OP is just communicate with her, and be willing to be intimate without penetrative sex or genital touching.

Also, jerking off is a legitimate option if she isn't ready.