My mom kept the death of my irish wolfhound from me. He had gotten too much for her to keep after I left home, but she didnt ask if I wanted to take him to my apartment, she didnt even ask me if I wanted to be there when he was put down. She just got it done and told me randomly after the fact over the phone.

Now my mother is a real piece of work, - but I will tell you; keeping the death of a loved one from someone, let alone their MOTHER, is going to have repercussions. If you want her to be your friend, you either crawl to her on your knees asking forgiveness for not realising she had a right to know right away, or you never speak of it and hope her dad doesnt tell her everyone else knew. - He is going to lose his daughter over this. There is no way she will ever be able to look at him without resentment and anger. You can get caught in that or try to stay clear. You should realise though, that managing other peoples emotions or trying to control their feelings, taking away their agency by withholding information such as this, is not done in healthy relationships. Its very pathalogical, very unhealthy. Sick almost. - This is going to be a bad bad situation for this family. I feel so bad for her. What a horrible mess. You, tell her or forever keep your piece. Do not let her keep you close only to tell her years from now how you knew and said nothing. That will break her heart.