I mean, this is going to be hard for your husband. He supported you and helped you through a very tough period in your life that resulted from the abuse of your ex. Now, seven years later, he is seeing that your ex still has a huge effect on you. He probably wasn’t prepared to date someone who was in an abusive relationship and who still has confusing and conflicting feelings about a previous romantic partner.

To be honest, not a lot of people can handle dating someone who has trauma/hang ups about exes. It hurts because you’re trying to heal the pain caused by the ex while simultaneously watching your partner worry and despair about the person who caused them the pain. It’s almost like a slap in the face.

It’s like saying to your partner, “This person beat me up and broke my leg and I need you to support me and care for me and help heal the broken leg that they caused...but I’m still going to worry about this person and I also need you to comfort me when I’m worried and scared for them.”

He sees your ex as someone who hurt you. He sees himself as the person who supported you through the hurt. Now, he’s realizing that he now has to comfort you over the man’s attempted suicide in addition to comforting you over all the pain your ex already caused you. It gets confusing and exhausting.

I’m not saying you’re wrong for feeling how you’re feeling. But it’s also got to be draining on your husband to try and support you in the bad times and then realize that you care so much about the guy who had a major part in the bad times.

This honestly sounds like something that needs counseling.