This guy gets it.

The cheating thing is awful. To me that's the worst part of the whole situation.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but just some perspective- it hasn't been that long since women basically HAD to marry for financial security. Men would look for an attractive homemaker and women would look for someone to provide for them. Even in modern society, you still see these themes in the media. I honestly believe that all those considerations play into someone's 'attractiveness'. So what if you're average looking? You've got 2 successful businesses. You've obviously got a good personality or else you're wife wouldn't have stayed this long. I'm sure the fact that she's a beautiful woman made her more attractive to you. As a previous poster said, people marry for a lot of different reasons.

I guess what I'm saying is- she loves you now. Apparently enough to tell you her deepest darkest secret. She built a life with you and feels guilty about how it began. Honestly, the cheating thing really sucks. From your post, it sounds like she's matured a great deal since then. You've grown together and have a family together. This is all news to you so obviously it hurts. I'd suggest couples/single therapy to work through all this.